It’s really rare for me to ever second-guess something that might come flying out of my mouth.  I’m one of those chaps who frequently gets hauled in for an alleged comment.  Anyway, I have frequently been accused of having verbal Tourette’s, and I’m OK with that.  I don’t think I cross the line often, I just blurt-out what everyone else in the room wishes they would have said.  And ultimately, if they spray whatever they were drinking, then my job is done.  On a side note, and I haven’t kept a log, I know for a fact that online, I am single-handedly responsible for making at least 500 people clean their monitors post-haste.  (Look it up.)

So I was describing the taste of something to a friend of mine and said, “It’s a Q-Tipper.”  You know what I’m talking about.  We grew up being warned not to do it, it would ultimately kill us, but you do it.  You do it and yet you don’t talk about it.  It’s like a smaller whack job, really.  You don’t gently swab the outside of your ear.  That puppy is going in spinning, so you can ultimately make that “O” face, even if there’s other people around.  Your eyes will almost go Marty Feldman for a second, but that won’t stop the madness.

In thinking about these deep thoughts, I wondered if the internet, in all of its vast non-brilliance, would have something if I Googled “Dirty Q-tip”, for example.  It was the first thing that came to mind with my sarcastic sense of humor.

This is where things go terribly wrong.  It took me 10 minutes to clean my laptop.  You have been warned…

Urban Dictionary: Dirty Qtip.